Friday
Jun252010
My 6 is faded
Friday, June 25, 2010 at 4:48PM
I live in the suburbs. On a monthly basis, we have numerous people visit our home for a variety of reasons. They may come as a client, or possibly whoever my kids have visiting, or as a guest for a monthly event I host. I didn’t realize when we moved that our street address numbers were not nailed anywhere on the front of our house. The address numbers were sticky decals on the mailbox at the end of the driveway. The street address has five digits ending in the number “6”.
It’s inevitable that on an almost monthly basis I get “notified” about the obvious when first-timers who visit say, “Did you know your “6” is faded?” The feedback is consistent enough that I now acknowledge that fact when I give directions for a navigational clue.
I began wondering about how many things I get told where there might be a presupposition that I have an interest in doing anything about making a change that is the issue of import to the commentator. I haven’t liked my mailbox numbers from Day 1, yet the mail gets delivered every day and people keep finding our house.
What determines the moment we feel we need to really change something? Is it only when it’s broken or too painful to keep the status quo? Maybe because we get bored? Possibly if something gets outdated, the fad or the style has passed? Or how about getting worn down after a jillion repeated “Mom....I really need.....” pleas?
As long as you have a “should” or a mental reason about the need to make a shift of some kind, it won’t happen. Certainly not if it's someone else's idea, either. The only thing that drives action is emotion. Logic won’t get something moving, feelings will. We make our decisions emotionally and justify them intellectually. Any salesperson will agree.
I know a couple - lets call them Dick and Jane - who have been married for many years with a wonderful illustration of a resolution to this concept. Jane told me what makes their relationship work so well over so many years is they live by the “Law of the Greatest Need”. The way this law works is the one with the highest need to have something different simply does that thing. For example, Jane leaves her shoes in the front entryway of their home. Dick isn’t a fan of shoes on the floor. When he has greater need than Jane to remove them from that space, he simply moves Jane’s shoes. Jane, on the other hand, might like the kitchen cleaned in a more thorough way than Dick finds necessary. So, Jane has the greatest need to put the kitchen in the order she prefers and cleans it to her liking. No upsetness. No arguments. It’s all simply handled. The things that need doing that neither of them have the greatest need to attend to are negotiated, which could simply mean hiring them out to be done.
What things, situations or ideas in your life are on hold because you have a “should” about making a change? Is it something you can simply “declare complete” and stop lying to yourself that you’re ever going to do it? Are you compelled to utilize your time, money, talent or other resources elsewhere and have some other professional take care of the areas that are of import yet not of interest? If it’s necessary for you to complete tasks for your highest good or for those you love and those who love you, what emotional engagement can you create to easily get the necessary changes moving in your world?
You are your greatest need. Living by other peoples’ determinations of what you ought to be managing in your life can wear you out over time. Be true to you. If you're the one sweating on field or the court, putting your all into the game, there are likely to be comments and advice from the stands for you, because it's a lot easier to be an observer than it is to be a player. Years ago, I received some unsolicited “input” from some well-meaning acquaintances who were “concerned” about my choice in some work I was taking on and the potential subsequent effect on my family. After ongoing conversations, I eventually let them know that I've decided that their continual need to inform me about how concerned they were about my family would be directly correlated to their interest in making my mortgage payment. Magically, their concerns and commentary subsided.
Follow your heart. Your head will eventually catch up and agree. Be emotionally engaged with what you’re up to. Pick 1 word each day, and live that concept all day. Be happy. Be responsive. Be attentive. Be a listener. Notice I didn’t say “Do happy”, etc. Your beingness is the light you shine on the world.
Don’t give up on the word that will inspire you each day. It’s a great game. Heck, I bet one of these days soon, I’m going to land on the word that will inspire me to fix my 6!
Blessings –
Cindy
It’s inevitable that on an almost monthly basis I get “notified” about the obvious when first-timers who visit say, “Did you know your “6” is faded?” The feedback is consistent enough that I now acknowledge that fact when I give directions for a navigational clue.
I began wondering about how many things I get told where there might be a presupposition that I have an interest in doing anything about making a change that is the issue of import to the commentator. I haven’t liked my mailbox numbers from Day 1, yet the mail gets delivered every day and people keep finding our house.
What determines the moment we feel we need to really change something? Is it only when it’s broken or too painful to keep the status quo? Maybe because we get bored? Possibly if something gets outdated, the fad or the style has passed? Or how about getting worn down after a jillion repeated “Mom....I really need.....” pleas?
As long as you have a “should” or a mental reason about the need to make a shift of some kind, it won’t happen. Certainly not if it's someone else's idea, either. The only thing that drives action is emotion. Logic won’t get something moving, feelings will. We make our decisions emotionally and justify them intellectually. Any salesperson will agree.
I know a couple - lets call them Dick and Jane - who have been married for many years with a wonderful illustration of a resolution to this concept. Jane told me what makes their relationship work so well over so many years is they live by the “Law of the Greatest Need”. The way this law works is the one with the highest need to have something different simply does that thing. For example, Jane leaves her shoes in the front entryway of their home. Dick isn’t a fan of shoes on the floor. When he has greater need than Jane to remove them from that space, he simply moves Jane’s shoes. Jane, on the other hand, might like the kitchen cleaned in a more thorough way than Dick finds necessary. So, Jane has the greatest need to put the kitchen in the order she prefers and cleans it to her liking. No upsetness. No arguments. It’s all simply handled. The things that need doing that neither of them have the greatest need to attend to are negotiated, which could simply mean hiring them out to be done.
What things, situations or ideas in your life are on hold because you have a “should” about making a change? Is it something you can simply “declare complete” and stop lying to yourself that you’re ever going to do it? Are you compelled to utilize your time, money, talent or other resources elsewhere and have some other professional take care of the areas that are of import yet not of interest? If it’s necessary for you to complete tasks for your highest good or for those you love and those who love you, what emotional engagement can you create to easily get the necessary changes moving in your world?
You are your greatest need. Living by other peoples’ determinations of what you ought to be managing in your life can wear you out over time. Be true to you. If you're the one sweating on field or the court, putting your all into the game, there are likely to be comments and advice from the stands for you, because it's a lot easier to be an observer than it is to be a player. Years ago, I received some unsolicited “input” from some well-meaning acquaintances who were “concerned” about my choice in some work I was taking on and the potential subsequent effect on my family. After ongoing conversations, I eventually let them know that I've decided that their continual need to inform me about how concerned they were about my family would be directly correlated to their interest in making my mortgage payment. Magically, their concerns and commentary subsided.
Follow your heart. Your head will eventually catch up and agree. Be emotionally engaged with what you’re up to. Pick 1 word each day, and live that concept all day. Be happy. Be responsive. Be attentive. Be a listener. Notice I didn’t say “Do happy”, etc. Your beingness is the light you shine on the world.
Don’t give up on the word that will inspire you each day. It’s a great game. Heck, I bet one of these days soon, I’m going to land on the word that will inspire me to fix my 6!
Blessings –
Cindy
Reader Comments (3)
Excellent! Well written and you hit a home run in MY field. :)
Beautifully written, Cindy, and so true! Thank you.
Juli and Shirley...thank you for taking the time to read my post. I appreciate your feedback. :-) Cin