Sunday
Dec132009
Stillness Inspires
Sunday, December 13, 2009 at 3:42PM
As my life would have it, I managed to put myself into a hurricane of sorts lately. Being a coach, I have numerous friends in my profession who “lovingly” give me “feedback” on an ongoing basis, pointing out ways that might be more reasonable alternatives to some of my choices. As I got myself all worked up about a situation, one of my dear friends reminded me, “that’s because you engaged.” Silly me. I engaged.
Using the hurricane analogy, all of us have the best access to our own power when we are centered in our silence, similar to the “eye” of the storm. Ignoring that, I recently decided to play a part in an issue that I was allowing to upset me. I was stepping right out of my peace directly into the wind, pretty much obliterating my nice calm centeredness. The wind in a hurricane does what it’s supposed to do – blow. Hard. So, of course, the more I “engaged” with the wind, the more I let myself get tossed around in debris, often forgetting that my storm even had an “eye” to it. What was my immediate response to my engagement? I got mad at the wind. The wind doesn’t even care. It’s just doing it’s job blowing things around that are in its path. That’s all.
My friend's hurricane reference got me thinking about the value of boundaries. No different from house rules, curfews, expectations of staff or a leadership team, or driving on the side of the road that will minimize the likelihood of a head-on crash, we live in a society that recognizes the need for boundaries and structure. Some might choose to bend, ignore or think of rules more as “suggestions”. As I tell my children, “All choices have consequences.” Yet, what if we have “vague rules”, expectations that aren’t conveyed or we haven’t defined what is OK with us? Would it be someone else’s job to read our minds to determine that something is acceptable or not if we don’t make that known?
I admit that I don’t set boundaries well, then get all agitated that someone didn’t honor my [unspoken] expectation. Although I’m getting better at it, I often don’t realize my co-dependent, enabling, caretaking behaviors that I have become quite masterful at, almost guarantee that I’ll be stepping into the wind if I haven't done my stillness practices. Then I’m flailing around at a bazillion miles per hour, wondering how to find the “eye” of my storm again. What’s interesting to me is how I see this happen with so many people. It’s everywhere in the media - people who claim to be “victim” of a situation because of them giving power to someone or something else. Since we are the common denominator of all that happens in our lives, what is the part that we play to create all of our circumstances and experiences? That means all of us. No one is immune to being the author of his or her life. Although there is enough self-sabatoging going in the lives of many subconsciously, I believe we can at least be conscious of our boundaries, where we choose to “engage”, and be mindful of the choices we can control.
This evening I was visiting a retired couple and their living room was decorated with holiday lights. The woman told me “this is a time of the year for quiet. Sometimes I just sit here later at night with the lights for reflecting and quiet time.” With the Winter Solstice upon us, in the darkest time in our northern hemisphere, how could your life be enhanced by taking some time to re-acquaint yourself with you? Would you choose to let the drama of the wind in your life be tuned out for a few minutes each day during meditation, prayer, cross-country skiing, or maybe a mini retreat in a hotel room with just you and maybe your journal? You always will get more of what you pay attention to, so if you’re choosing to set boundaries, claim or reclaim your power, find clarity or be inspired, you won’t find your answers in the noisy roar of the wind.
Make it a priority for yourself to get still if only for five deep inhales and exhales a few times per day. Your power lies in your center and you have much to do to be an inspiration in our world. Don’t rip the rest of us off...YOUR stillness inspires.
Blessings-
Cindy
Using the hurricane analogy, all of us have the best access to our own power when we are centered in our silence, similar to the “eye” of the storm. Ignoring that, I recently decided to play a part in an issue that I was allowing to upset me. I was stepping right out of my peace directly into the wind, pretty much obliterating my nice calm centeredness. The wind in a hurricane does what it’s supposed to do – blow. Hard. So, of course, the more I “engaged” with the wind, the more I let myself get tossed around in debris, often forgetting that my storm even had an “eye” to it. What was my immediate response to my engagement? I got mad at the wind. The wind doesn’t even care. It’s just doing it’s job blowing things around that are in its path. That’s all.
My friend's hurricane reference got me thinking about the value of boundaries. No different from house rules, curfews, expectations of staff or a leadership team, or driving on the side of the road that will minimize the likelihood of a head-on crash, we live in a society that recognizes the need for boundaries and structure. Some might choose to bend, ignore or think of rules more as “suggestions”. As I tell my children, “All choices have consequences.” Yet, what if we have “vague rules”, expectations that aren’t conveyed or we haven’t defined what is OK with us? Would it be someone else’s job to read our minds to determine that something is acceptable or not if we don’t make that known?
I admit that I don’t set boundaries well, then get all agitated that someone didn’t honor my [unspoken] expectation. Although I’m getting better at it, I often don’t realize my co-dependent, enabling, caretaking behaviors that I have become quite masterful at, almost guarantee that I’ll be stepping into the wind if I haven't done my stillness practices. Then I’m flailing around at a bazillion miles per hour, wondering how to find the “eye” of my storm again. What’s interesting to me is how I see this happen with so many people. It’s everywhere in the media - people who claim to be “victim” of a situation because of them giving power to someone or something else. Since we are the common denominator of all that happens in our lives, what is the part that we play to create all of our circumstances and experiences? That means all of us. No one is immune to being the author of his or her life. Although there is enough self-sabatoging going in the lives of many subconsciously, I believe we can at least be conscious of our boundaries, where we choose to “engage”, and be mindful of the choices we can control.
This evening I was visiting a retired couple and their living room was decorated with holiday lights. The woman told me “this is a time of the year for quiet. Sometimes I just sit here later at night with the lights for reflecting and quiet time.” With the Winter Solstice upon us, in the darkest time in our northern hemisphere, how could your life be enhanced by taking some time to re-acquaint yourself with you? Would you choose to let the drama of the wind in your life be tuned out for a few minutes each day during meditation, prayer, cross-country skiing, or maybe a mini retreat in a hotel room with just you and maybe your journal? You always will get more of what you pay attention to, so if you’re choosing to set boundaries, claim or reclaim your power, find clarity or be inspired, you won’t find your answers in the noisy roar of the wind.
Make it a priority for yourself to get still if only for five deep inhales and exhales a few times per day. Your power lies in your center and you have much to do to be an inspiration in our world. Don’t rip the rest of us off...YOUR stillness inspires.
Blessings-
Cindy
Reader Comments (4)
Cindy, thanks for reminding us who is in control and the importance of the peacefulness we can find in the "eye" within ourselves. I enjoyed how you inspired us with your own personal story. Blessed Inspirations - Breathe! Karen
Karen, you continue to be an inspiration to so many. I appreciate your kind comments.
Cindy
Wow Cindy! You are a gifted writer and teacher and healer. I love you!
Thanks, Jeana. I miss my editor. :-(